We draw your pet.
Badly. On purpose.
Upload a photo, get back a gloriously terrible portrait that is still — somehow — unmistakably your pet. From $5.
How it works (it's stupidly easy)
1. Upload a photo
One clear photo of your pet. Face visible. We handle the rest — poorly.
2. We ruin it with care
A portrait so bad it loops back around to priceless. A human checks every single one before it ships.
3. Delivered in 24–48h
Hi-res files in your inbox. Put it on the fridge, a shirt, socks, or a museum-grade frame.
Pick your poison
$5 for one style — or all three for $12, because your pet deserves to be humiliated thoroughly.
Kid Crayon
Like a proud 5-year-old drew your pet with their favorite crayons. Wrong number of legs not guaranteed, but likely.
Ugly Sketch
A minimal black ink sketch by someone who insists they went to art school. They did not.
Medieval Bestiary
Painted by a 13th-century monk who never saw your pet and gave it the face of a disappointed man. Historically accurate. Unfortunately.
Put the crime on real stuff
Add any of these at checkout — printed with your pet's finished portrait and shipped to your door.
Framed Print
Your pet's terrible portrait, framed like it hangs in a museum. Because it should.
$79
T-Shirt
Wear your pet's face. The bad version of it.
$29
Socks
Your pet's ugly mug, all over your feet. A perfect gift for someone you love-ish.
$19
Mug
Start every morning with a portrait that says 'we tried.'
$17
Ready to disappoint your pet?
Every portrait is reviewed by an actual human with an actual sense of humor before it reaches you. We draw your pet. Badly. On purpose.